The other day I was talking to some people about sharing Jesus with people who have not yet decided to follow Him. One of them said to me, “You were the first Jesus follower in your family, what is the secret of leading family members to faith?” My reply was simple, “Pray, Trust Jesus, and don’t be a Jerk!”

Let me tell you my story:

I became a Christian when was almost 18. I had been fairly rebellious in an intellectual and mouthy way to my parents. I showed them little respect and lived in my little world that didn’t include them. (Did I mention that we were stuck in a dysfunctional trap brought about by addiction) Our family life was sick, and there wasn’t one of us that lived through it unaffected. I was angry, aggressive and immoral in my lifestyle. My furor was often directed toward my family. Then a series of events lead me to follow Jesus.

Almost immediately, I started to live for Jesus with the same dedication and passion that I had previously directed to my anger, aggression, and immorality. That meant I went from yelling and being difficult to get along with to constantly letting them know that without Jesus they were headed to hell.

I would debate about the truth of Jesus and believed it was my job to point out what their personal sins and shortcomings were.

My new found zeal was a complete failure. I thought I was guiding them to Jesus. What I was doing was pushing them away and further damaging our relationship. In my mind, I was helping Jesus, in their minds, I was a jerk. It came to a point when I was told if I wanted to keep a relationship with them I had to quit talking about Jesus. I was doing much more harm than good.

Now about 20 years later, my father became a Christian. My brother and his wife followed not too long after that. I hadn’t talked to either of them about following Jesus as long as I could remember. As I thought about that I came to a few conclusions:

1)    I didn’t become a Christan overnight. It started with someone who looked beyond my anger and loved me to faith.

2)    My life had been a mess. My family had seen that mess for a long time. They had seen me declare several times before that I was different only to watch me go back to my old ways. They needed to see me change over the long haul to believe I was any different. A quick decision needed to be lived and proven lasting. All my words would mean nothing if I was the same jerk I had always been.

3)    God often uses others to touch people with Jesus’ love who are too close us to objectively see Jesus in us. I had too much baggage. Everything I said could be counted with, “Yeah, but I remember when you did/said this.” People without the personal baggage often become a more objective starting point for sharing Jesus.

4)    Jesus loves your loved ones more than you can imagine. When it seems like nothing will work and you have exhausted all avenues, and they still haven’t moved toward Jesus, pray. The Holy Spirit works through our prayers. Along with that Jesus hasn’t given up on anybody. He will keep after your family with graceful, loving persistence. It may take 20 years or more. Don’t ever stop praying.

5)    Don’t be a jerk. Learn to love your family just because they are your family. Honor their wishes. Don’t be argumentative. Let them see that your faith is not all about getting what you want but loving others and their point of need.

Pray, Trust Jesus, and don’t be a Jerk. Give it a try. Let me know how it goes.